When I took the oath of this office on the steps of the capitol, twice, and in darn cold weather both times, I swore to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America, so help me God.

And I meant it.

We are a nation of laws. American Laws. Throughout our history, many bills have been passed by the Congress and signed into law by myself and my predecessors in this great and humbling office. Laws having to do with a lot of different things.

It's also happened that the Supreme Court ruled later on that some of those laws are wrong, that they go against our Constitution, the supreme law of our land. Now a law can go against your grain, but it can't go against the Constitution. That wouldn't be right.

It has come to my attention that we have been living under a law written by someone who never held office in this great land, someone who was not even an American citizen.

I'm talking about a man by the name of Isaac Newton. SIR Isaac Newton. And I am talking about what he called his Law of Universal Gravitation. We take it for granted, but you know something? It never went through Congress, and it never was signed by any President. And it's never been tested in the courts.

And what does it say, this so-called "law of gravity?" It says that everything that exists has to fall. Everything - apples, turkey sandwiches, rocks, a window box, your putter if you don't hold onto it. Maybe even your pants if you keep on that diet. You name it, Newton says it'll end up on the floor.

So who was this Isaac Newton? Turns out he was an Englishman. This was in the seventeenth century. Before the American Revolution. He was connected, in other words, with an occupying power.

Today, England is our ally, of course. But not then, and the fact is we are still, to this day, living under the tyranny of a law that was written in a foreign country.

We overthrew the British. We booted them out of here. But somehow we never got rid of this law of theirs, Newton's so-called Law of Gravity.

We've got a pretty good system in this country. We make our own laws, and we do not live under foreign laws. We do not accept what they call International Law, or the International Court of Justice neither.

Sir Isaac's "Law" says everything has to fall. Everything. It doesn't even make sense. Look at the price of gasoline. Real estate. Ticket to the movies. Cadillac Coupe de Ville. Problem with Newton was, he never heard of the Law of Supply and Demand..

Planes fly every day; to Sacramento, Paris, to Crawford, Texas. Rockets fly up and put our space shuttles and our brave astronauts into orbit. We'll soon have a man, or a woman, maybe both, on Mars. What does the "Law of Universal Gravitation" have to say about that? Don't look now, Sir Isaac, but Air Force One gets up there any time I say so.

"One nation UNDER GOD." It says that right there in our Declaration of Independence. "UNDER God." Not over. "Under."

God, in other words, is UP THERE. And after we die, unless we have committed some unforgivable sin, we have every reason to expect that our souls will rise UP from this earth to meet our maker... up there. Where does the so-called "Law of Gravity" come into that picture? Who you gonna believe? Our Founding Fathers or Sir Isaac?

I have requested that our justice department prepare arguments to be brought to the Supreme Court at the earliest opportunity, to declare Sir Isaac Newton's so-called "Law of Gravity" null and void post haste, ipso facto, whatever the words are, in these, the United States of America.

Americans don't fall. And if we do, we pick ourselves up. Our Gross National Product keeps rising. The stock markets keep rising. Our economy keeps growing, rising.

The rest of the world may want to buy this Newtonian negativity. But here in the United States of America, it is Sir Isaac's Law that's gonna take the fall. Not us.

Have a good evening, and may God Bless the United States of America.